Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Can Your Life Change In One Night?

Or should I say, can my life change in one night? That is a question that has emerged in my head as I return home this evening from a night out at the movies. I imagine this idea has been floating around in my head for some while, and now it rises to the top of my consciousness.

Today wasn't the easiest of days for me. Spent most of my time trying to focus on preparing my taxes. I say to myself one of these days I will truly have a grasp of the most important things I need to know regarding taxes. I tell myself that I will one day have my own tax people who will handle these affairs for me. Or maybe it is just one person, regardless it will be someone I can trust.

Another portion of my day was emptiness. To understand this portion of my day is to understand the previous day where I spent hours in attack mode. Emailing and on the phone. Yesterday was one of those days where on the next day, I expect results to varying degrees. And instead today I got silence. A mostly quiet day where nothing was generated from all the energy I expended yesterday.

Usually on days like today, I will double on my efforts. If I am not getting results, I stay at it until I do. No such luxury today as my taxes have taken precedence. Yet is on days like this where I certainly question whether I can change my life. When it takes extraordinary efforts to achieve below ordinary results. I question what I am doing and why I am doing this? How has life brought me to Los Angeles pursuing a film career? Do I really have what it takes to break through?

I think of the interview I held with fellow Filmmaker Jamin Winans over at FilmSynergy. Let me pull the question and answer right now.

(My question) Often times in the independent movie world, we see a filmmaker make his first feature film, then we never hear from him again. What is your reaction to that?

(Jamin's response) More power to them. Filmmaking is a horrible endeavor with varying degrees of pain and humiliation. The glamorous perception of filmmaking is nothing like reality, especially indie filmmaking. It requires unreal perseverance and huge sacrifices. I think a lot of filmmakers just realize they would rather actually live life than go through that process again. If I didn’t feel so compelled to keep going no matter what the cost, I would easily walk away and do something else.

Jamin sums it up wonderfully here. His answer here has stuck with me for months. Jamin has begun to break through some walls in his life (LA, UTA and the NRA) and I could not be happier for him. It is the result of years of dedication, determination and perserverance.

This idea of life changing in one night or in one day is actually one of the theme's in my film Night Before the Wedding. It is a powerful concept. It is at the backbone of that story and it is certainly not the first time nor the last that I will use it.

I do not have a declaration or answer at this time. It is just something that is on my mind. Can we change our life in one night?

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